**This article is written from a female heterosexual POV but it is applicable to all**
So you’ve decided to wait until marriage. I’m assuming if you’re doing that, you know what I’m talking about. But if you’re unsure, I’m talking about waiting to have sex until marriage. In today’s day and age, it seems like no body does this, but that’s not true! You are not the only one out there who’s dating while waiting until marriage.
When you’re feeling like you’re the only one, like it’s impossible, like you’ll never meet a man who wants to wait, it can be pretty easy to get gloomy. It’s even worse when none of your friends are waiting and don’t really understand. Of course they try to support you, but it’s not the same if you aren’t both making that choice. Luckily, I have one friend who is also waiting and it always makes me feel better to have someone to talk to and share my complaints to! But what else can you do besides vent to friends? Here are some tips!
Don’t forget to pin this post so you can come back to it!
Remember Why You Decided to Wait
Like many decisions that we’re struggling with, it’s helpful to go back to square 1 and remind ourselves why. Not everyone waiting until marriage does it because of religious reasons. My decision to wait is because I truly believe that my sexuality is a gift for only one man. It’s important to me that when we get married, I’m giving him every single part of me. No matter how many other guys I’ve dated, or had the opportunity to sleep with, I didn’t because I was always preparing for my future husband.
Sex is such an intimate thing. And maybe it’s because I’m a girl, but I KNOW that I will be emotional about it. I think some of that emotion is because I believe sex is something you only share with one person, but it really does bond you. I hold it in a very high regard.
On a practical side, I have enough stress in my life, I didn’t want any STD or pregnancy stressors! Condoms are not 100% effective, and neither is hormonal birth control. Even if it might be really, really effective, waiting is the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Don’t get me wrong, pregnancy is absolutely a gift, but I’m not in a place to responsibly provide for a child right now.
Now, if you’re reading this and you aren’t waiting or you have decided to wait now but aren’t a virgin, that is totally okay! I am NOT judging you and your life decisions. Waiting is what is right for me, and that may not be right for you.
Get A Tie and Pray/Reflect
This might be my favorite piece of advice I can give you. You know the nights–those Saturday nights when all of your friends are going out on dates and you’re at home, wondering when your perfect date night will come. What do you do besides watch Jane the Virgin on Netflix?
You’re probably thinking, “Darby, what is a tie going to do for me?” and that’s what I thought the first time I heard about this. So here’s what you do–get a really nice tie, one that you would love to see your future fiancé wearing. I see it as an investment piece, so I suggest splurging a little. The intent of this tie is that it’ll be the tie your future husband wears at your wedding.
Whenever you feel discouraged or hopeless, pray (or just reflect if you’re not the praying type) that your future husband is thriving, preparing his life for you, his future wife, and that you will find each other when the time is right. Doing this has provided some true comfort when I feel discouraged about whether or not I’ll ever find the right guy. It also makes a beautiful inclusion in your wedding, a physical symbol of how you have been praying and preparing for him for so long. It’s also nice to have something to look at to remind you why you are waiting until marriage.
Enjoy Your Time Being Single
It’s been a bit over a year since my ex and I broke up, and at first I thought I would absolutely hate being single. I was convinced I was made for relationships. And to some extent that’s true, humans are made for relationships. But I thought that I couldn’t exist fully as a single person. Thinking back, that makes me so sad! It took many months of healing, therapy, and supportive friends/family for me to realize that wasn’t the case. My life is just as full now, if not fuller, because I am enjoying my single life. I’m not just tolerating it, I’m embracing it.
I’m trusting the process. The plan. God’s plan. His plan for me will be done in due time. Being single is part of everyone’s journey. You are not less of a person because you are single! Please remember that! So take this time and love the life you’re living. I’m undoubtedly excited to one day be in a relationship again, but for right now I’m content being on my own, getting to do whatever I want, and living life for no one except me (and God).
It’s easy to get anxious when you feel like you’re the only single one. But again, just take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone. God is with you. Millions of people worldwide are waiting until marriage and even more are single! If you get anxiety over it, here are some Bible verses to ease your anxiety.
Waiting until marriage can definitely be a challenge. Not only can the physical part be taxing, the emotional and mental aspects can be isolating and draining. But the important thing to remember is YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And, your time will come. You will meet the right person. We all have different time lines and it’s okay if you are a 30 year old virgin (seriously, why did that become the villainized age?!).
What do you when you struggle with waiting until marriage? Do you have a go-to Bible verse? A favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor to enjoy? You do you, girl!
